Author Topic: EVIL VS EVIL  (Read 4334 times)

FANTASYBATTLES

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EVIL VS EVIL
« on: December 17, 2006, 01:20:48 pm »
Hi guys I am a newbie to this forum , but i am a massive horror and sci -fi fan.
I have written a short story of a meeting between darth vader & pinhead(hellraiser)

I would really love to hear your opinions on it, I hope you enjoy.

short story found here:-  http://cooltopten-fantasybattles.com

thanks guys

Offline joshua rainbird

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Re: EVIL VS EVIL
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2006, 12:19:37 am »
I couldn't open the link  :-\
If wishes were horses then we'd all be eating steak.
Jayne Cobb, Firefly.

But ... if fishes were courses then we'd all be eating hake ...

FANTASYBATTLES

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Re: EVIL VS EVIL
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2006, 01:56:40 pm »
hey sorry i posted the wrong link try

www.cooltopten-fantasybattles.blogspot.com

its darth vader metting his match...

I am a massive horror / sci- fi geek .
let me know what you think of the story.

Offline Stephen Bacon

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Re: EVIL VS EVIL
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2006, 05:48:06 pm »
The tense jumps around a little. There are a number of cliches.

Anyone else?

Offline joshua rainbird

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Re: EVIL VS EVIL
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2006, 12:37:52 am »
I was kind of hoping that Vader would use tiny force-pushes to nail those pins in further...

Loved the London Dungeon vid underneath.  ;D
If wishes were horses then we'd all be eating steak.
Jayne Cobb, Firefly.

But ... if fishes were courses then we'd all be eating hake ...

FANTASYBATTLES

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Re: EVIL VS EVIL
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2006, 08:44:22 am »
thanks for your comments, ya i was gonna get darth to either hammer the pins in more or suck them out of this head. I got a new battle there now Michael myers vs leatherface .maybe you,ll like that .if anyone wants to link to there site please leave me url i,ll link right to you.
http://cooltopten-fantasybattles.blogspot.com

Offline Rolnikov

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Re: EVIL VS EVIL
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2007, 09:17:34 am »
It seems enthusiastic, and you've obviously enjoyed writing it.

Some spell-checking and a bit more punctuation would make it more fun to read...